Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, April 7

Are you crazy?

Good news, you are not. There has been some debate over what crazy is, where it comes from, can it be treated. I used to think I was crazy for the longest time, really. I used to think I would spend life alone as a weird eccentric on the beach in Mexico... and I was good with that. Turns out I ain't crazy, just strange. Nothing wrong with that, eh? So, what is crazy? This is crazy. Let's hear from one of these folks now:
"I wasn't born in the correct body," said Lilly, who has twice tried to amputate her legs. "The mind doesn't connect up to the body at all."
It is a story about people who amputate stuff off themselves because of a negative body image. It begins with a guy who methodically, and personally (meaning, without medical assistance) froze off his legs with dry ice so they would be removed. That is some crazy. I ain't talking about Uncle Lenny crazy... I am talking about that fancy store bought crazy. Anyhow, Doc says this:
The rare condition is called body integrity identity disorder, or BIID.

No sir, this condition is called crazy. In fact, it ain't a condition at all. Three people don't constitute a condition. There are three guys are work right now with black eyes they got from their wives. Is that a condition? Nope, just three guys who drink too much and needed a good smackin'. Ooohh! Lookie at this quote.

aside from this obsession, First said his BIID patients can appear to be mentally healthy
I beg to differ. If you run across someone sawing off their arm in the park... you know something is up. You know they crazy! To be fair, this is the last words of one of the dudes who amputated his legs and arm: What the hell was I thinking?

Now, don't you feel better about yourself?

Friday Fives

1. Do you like chicken?

does a bear shit in the woods?

2. What is 1 food you can't live without?

my cravings come and go. Today, I thought I might turn over dead if I didn't have crab cakes. The local chain makes tasty ones that are only a buck a piece. Though this might not count as food, I am a coffee fiend.

3. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

unless this is your first day joining us at 'I am Correct', you know I am a night owl. It is an incorrectable problem. If anyone out there writes back 'just go to sleep earlier' then you don't understand. I am a victim here, people. This is America, who do I sue?

4. Chocolate or vanilla?

Cherry Garcia, baby. I am talkin' about lettin' my freak flag fly, bro. You can take your staid white bread choices and shove em! Just kidding, I love vanilla. I would have vanilla in more everywhere of my life if I could. Those beans are impossible to get, and are only grown in Madagascar. Madagascar? Come on, that isn't a real place is it? I think the Vanilla Bean oligarchy is just screwing with us to keep prices artificially high.

5. Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

I love them both equally. However, let's just say in a fire I am going back for the dogs... and the guitars. Then, that lamp I really like. Then, my thermos. Not an ordinary thermos for you. But the extra best thermos that you can buy, With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in. Then, the cat.

as always, thanks to my archrival Roy for this week's fives.

Tuesday, April 4

Bring me the head of Robert Novak



Ok, you heard about Plamegate, or Spygate, or Rovegate. Whatever you call it, some very high placed Republicans leaked the name of a top secret government agent to get revenge on her husband. They wanted to get revenge on her husband because he said (and he was totally right) that the Niger Yellow Cake story was bullshit. He said Iraq was not seeking Uranium to make nuclear weapons. He should know, he was the American something or other to Niger for some time. Problem was this, the president had his speach ready for America saying 'we have proof Iraq is in Niger scoring the king Yellow Cake'. Problem is, that was a 100% lie and the President knew it.

So, when dude told the President and the press "this is totally untrue", they said "oh yeah, well your wife is a spy". This much is true, and for the most part people are being finally held accountable. This will go all the way up to Cheney and Rove though. All of the major players in this treasonous scandal have been brought to light and dealt with in some form. All except for Robert Novak, the most odious of all these traitors.

See, what Novak did was publish all this dirt... and more. See, all of this was just high powered politicos playing their games. That all ended the minute Novak wrote a column about the whole thing, naming Valerie Plame as a deep cover agent. It gets worse. Novak also mentioned her cover business, Brewster, Jennings, and Associates. See, like a movie, these deep cover top secret agents have cover stories and cover identities. One of the common covers they used was the fake consulting firm.

For reasons known only to the devil Novak himself... he even published the name of the front company. What this did was endanger all of the other deep cover operatives still active who were still using that cover. That is treason, and for treason he should be hung. Here is what pisses me off the most about all of this. Novak has never had to testify, lose his job, or even apologize. Understand this: Robert Novak willingly outed a deep cover top secret CIA agent for political spite, and endangered countless others by publishing their covers. Robert Novak is an enemy of the state, and yet somehow still writes his column and shows up on TV everyday.

* Epilogue

I have been working on this piece in my head for years, and on paper for a few days now. I get so angry I have to step away. As I was finishing some of my final ramlbings, this story pops up as the headline on CNN. Read this:
-- A former Sinn Fein official recently exposed as a British spy was found fatally shot Tuesday after apparently being tortured
Oh yes, the consequences are VERY real for outed spies. Mr Novak, you may be the worst human on the planet right now. Well, except for Tom Cruise and that Hussein guy.

** epilogue epilogue - the outrage didn't go far or high.  It appears Dick Cheney was behind the leak to Novak.  Scooter Libby took the fall for Cheney, and then Scooter got pardoned before he did a day of jail.  The upside is Robert Novak is dead.  The downside is he never apologized, or even copped to his part of all of this.  That makes him a traitor and a coward to the United States.

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