Friday Fives

1. What is your most prized material possession?

I guess that would be my Paul Reed Smith electric guitar. I had always wanted one, almost since I started playing guitar. Finally saved up and got one.

2. What item, that you currently own, have you had the longest?

my Cannondale mountain bike, Otto. We have been together for about 12 years now. Otto was basically my car in college, and a faithful companion as well.

3. Are you a packrat?

yes, but better than I used to be. I still keep stuff cause you never know when you will need it.

4. Do you prefer a spic-and-span clean house? Or is some clutter necessary to avoid the appearance of a museum?

Well, it ain't no museum. We do our best to keep the people facing portions (family room, kitchen, and guest bathroom) looking decent at all times. As for the non facing places (garage, basement, bedroom...) mostly a total shithole. Instead of cleaning, I sit here and entertain you. At least, that is what I tell my wife I am doing for hours on end in this basement.

5. If God is omnipotent, could he make a boulder so big even he couldn't lift it?

yes *

*I am in a unique position to answer all of your religious questions and concerns. Please leave a comment with your question. Enlightenment takes approximately 12 hours per moral quandry.

By the way, I was right

Being the webmaster of a website so brazingly pretentious as 'I am Correct' means I need to back it up... and I do. Here is another example of how correct I was. Four or five years ago I was laid off here in Denver, CO. I needed a job, a good job with a good company. After being in telecom far too long, I was looking at a fresh start in a new industry. I was willing to take a good job almost anywhere. It didn't even have to be Colorado, if the money was good enough.

Having said that, there were two companies who I absolutely refused to apply for. Both of these companies are very big and successful and have a huge presence in Denver. I vowed to be a lawn mower Technician 2 before I ever even considered working for either Qwest or United Airlines. Boy, was I right! Since then, United has had every union under the sun strike, dropped their employees pensions, and filed for bankruptcy. Just last week, United offered to pay Denver one fifth of the millions in back taxes they owe Denver. See, United figured they were such a boon to Denver's economy that they didn't have to pay taxes on anything. They felt we should be happy to have them. That worked until they laid everyone off and went bankrupt. Denver's mayor was so stunned that United was finally going to pay Denver he said it was a 'victory for everyone'.

So, their solution was to threaten Denver's mayor to build them a whole new concourse and wipe out their debt. Denver's mayor (Wellington Webb at the time) handled it wonderfully. He went on TV to rip up United's threatening letter to the city. If you have read this site for sometime, you know I rip on United. It is also because their rates suck, and their 'discount carrier' costs even more.

Anyhow, point made about United Airlines. The other company I wouldn't work for is Qwest communications. They got well known for shady deals and constant lay offs. We had a girl leave our company to go to Qwest. She got laid off on her first day of training for Qwest. Plus, they handled things badly. They bought out US West, who left under such a public relations nightmare it became comical. So, how does Qwest come in to right the crappy ship in the public's eyes? They raised all their rates across the board. That did this at the precise moment the cable companies starting offering phone service. The phone company monopolies were over! So, how did the phone company grovel for loyalty? They jacked the rates up! Bad move.

Anyhow, I say that to say this: I am proud of standing up to both Qwest and United. Today, they announced indictments against their racist ex CEO Joseph 'Ralph' Nacchio. 42 counts! Another asshole CEO is going to jail. I can't take all of the credit, but I will try.

I don't keep enemies, but I have had a few. Betsy Hoffman, Gary Barnett, United Airlines, Qwest, Tom DeLay, and terrorist spy Robert Novak. I have tried every single of them (but one) in the court of public opinion right here in these pages. The result, unanimously guilty. As for Novak, what he did is so unthinkable he simply deserves to die for threatening American undercover operations around the world. I'll get to him soon, I assure he will be neither be forgotten nor forgiven in these pages.

that came off a little ranty, didn't it? It's the painkillers.

Christmas songs

I love Christmas. I know we aren't allowed to say the 'C' word, which is dumb. Christmas is a cultural holiday, not a religious one. Not to me, anyhow. No sir, I am not Christian... not by a longshot. That being said, the holiday isn't based on Christ's birthday. Nope, it is widely understood and agreed that Christ was born in the Spring. December 25th is the winter solstice, which is a pagan holiday. The Christians quite resourcefully nasced it. Reference Easter for this little clever habit of absconding with pagan holidays and repurposing them. That isn't my point though. My point is that Christmas is a society wide holiday. You don't have to place it above Chanukkah or anything else... but let's not pretend that it isn't Christmas. Again, this has nothing to do with my point, which is coming right around the corner. These Christmas lyrics freak me out!

In the Meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he is Parson Brown he'll say 'are you married' and we'll say 'no, man' but you can do the job if you're in town

Seriously, what the shit is going on here? First off, it ain't a preacher... it is a snowman. Try less LSD next time. Let's say it was a preacher, though. What business of his is it if you are married? None! We're you screwing in the snow bank? No? Then it ain't no one's business if you are married or not.

Then we have this: 'but you can do the job if you're in town'. I guess it is true what they say about marriage being devalued in our society. The choice to marry or not should be taken WAY more seriously than on the whim of a hallucinated and pushy snowman.

It took me forever to marry my wife, this was my fault. We were dating for 7 or 8 years before I proposed. Folks would often ask 'When are you two getting married?' I hated that question, because it really is a very personal question. That being said, I should have told people that I was waiting for Parson Brown. Yeah, say that... and then just stare at the yard waiting for something to happen.

What have we learned here? Well, Christmas is for everyone. A snowman is not your preacher. Take less LSD. Do not marry on the advice of a hallucination.

That being said, we might not talk before Christmas. My computer is in the basement and I can't walk. I busted my ankle and am on crutches... so might not get down to write much. Know that I love you, and have an awesome holiday. It's all good! You got family and friends and good eats ahead of you this weekend? If you don't, know that you always have me... and no you can't come over.