Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, January 28


President Bush is requesting 80 billion dollars for Iraq. We have already spent 151 billion. Instead of attacking this country and killing 1300 young Americans and 100,000 people in Iraq we might have done one of the following with the money and without the blood. Sent 7 million young people to college with 4 year scholarships. Sent 20 million children thru the HEAD START program. Built 1.3 million homes for people who are homeless. Paid FULL health care for 90 million Americans (including dental and eyecare) Hired more than 2 million teachers. Funded every AIDS program in the world for the next 15 years. Immunized EVERY child in the world for the next 50 years. Funded every Food program in the World for 6 years. (30,000 die evry 24 hrs from hunger)

These figures do not include the 80 billion requested.

How can this be the best use of this money?

Friday Fives

1. Attacked by Locusts. Do you apply a suave, a balm or a pultice. Explain.

I see you are going biblical on me, and I enjoy the challenge. In that we are now at one of the seven seals describing the apocolypse and coming judgement, I have just realized I was dead wrong about the whole athiest thing. My best hope here is the fabled 'deathbed recant' and quick switch to Christianity for a 9th inning soul save!

2. We have discussed what you would take to a desert island. But now for where. Where is your "desert island" that you retreat to in your imaginary world

My therapist says I spend far too much time daydreaming which is why I lose every job and have failed at every relationship. So nice try, and fuck you... Roy! I am going back to work.

3. Have you ever been a "Storm Chaser" and been an active participant in some really severe weather?

No, and yes. I am no storm chaser... but I am a weather dork. I have two weather stations in my house, and one in my truck. Last year I went to sign up for a meteorology class at the 'free' college, but there wasn't one. Sad, but true. I do have a pretty cool weather story though. A couple of years ago I was in a Tornado! I did not see a tornado, nor was I near one. I was IN one. It literally landed right in my neighborhood, so I couldn't see it coming. Now, you know when a tornado comes you should get downstairs far away from windows, right? Not me, baby. I grabbed by dij and filmed the bastard! It was awesome, and tore the crap outta my house. Don't believe me, Bubba? Here are the picures! By the way, the first two pictures are of my house get hitting by the Tornado, but were obviously not taken from me. Ironically, these photos were taken by a friend at work (who had no idea I was in the tornado).

4. Phillip Johnson died and got me thinking about my childhood dream of being an architect. What career path do you wish you had taken when you had the chance.

golly, I don't know. My true joy is music, as you readers know. However, I posess not the talent to make that a career. That being said, I am quite happy.

5. Homer Simpson poses the question: "If you could make a better beer, what kind of a beer would you make?"

Well, I can make better beer. When I make beer I shoot for; flavor, alcohol content, and clarity. All of these can be achieved and manipulated with some skill and learning. I guess I would be interested in finding a way to infuse a brew with caffeine and not have it impact the flavor.

As always, thanks to Roy for our questions today... and for getting me started on the whole blog thing.

Tuesday, January 25

Friday Fives... um... I mean Wednesday Fives!

Sorry all, was busy getting hot and tan and sexy last Friday. So, here is what you missed, and we'll have fresh ones for this Friday. Don't worry, I don't plan on going on vacation for at least another few weeks. How do I do all these vacations, you ask? I'll tell you a little secret - no kids. Now, on with the fun

1. All of the phone numbers have fallen out of your address book. Whose number do you look for first and why?

Well, this implies that I have memorized my own number, my wife's cell phone number, and my mom's number back in Arizona. After that, I go to the web and dowload every single number on my cell phone that I keep uploaded there for just that reason. I carry a Nextel, and manage my phone book online through Tried to stump on that on didn't you?

2. Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?

I thought 'bard' was a literary reference... at least regarding Shakespeare. I figure if I am using a box then my enemy is too. So, I would start hurling rocks at him'/her. Then, of course, run!

3. What would you name your ballet inspired by the sight of children leaping through a garden sprinkler?

"Hey you kids, get off my lawn!"

4. The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

How about a classic retelling of a very old SNL piece called "Mr. Mikes' least loved fairly tales". It is the story of little train who tried with all his might to make it up this huge and terrible hill. The train says to himself 'I think I can, I think I can, I think I can'. He repeats this little positive mantra to himself as he nears the very top of the apex. Just then, a family of frogs is crossing the rails down at the bottom of the hill. Soon, the train can't take it anymore, and starts yelling 'heart attack! heart attack! heart attack' as he loses control and careens back down the hill, killing all of frogs as the cross the track.

5. Please describe how you could take the peel off an apple all in one go:

Cherry bomb

I am back from Mexico

Paradise Village Posted by Hello

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I was off vacationing in Mexico again. I couldn't tell you earlier, because I didn't want you to rob my house. Anyhow, Mexico was amazing as usual. I did some swimming, tanning, drinking, deep sea fishing, boogie boarding, shopping, snorkeling, and translating (I was one of two who speak Spanish for the whole group. It's great, because I can tell everyone 'my dumb gay retarted friend here would like another cerveza' and no one would be the wiser. Then, the waiter says in Spanish 'what is your room number to bill this?' I tell my friends that the waiter is hitting on them and wants to know if they are gay too. Anyhow, I left a link and a picture of the resort, Paradise Village in Peurto Vallarta. It was a really terrific time, and we married off two very close friends while we were out there.

anyhow, on with the belated Friday Fives